Advice for Brides (compiled by Claire Gibson)
I've written this to give you all an insight into what I
have learned about wedding planning since my wedding.
What at first I saw dimly now I see clearly...
1. I wish someone had told me
that it didn't matter what shoes I wore because you only
seen the tips of my toes. I went for an expensive bridal
shoe because it looked the part but you couldn't see
them under the dress and they hurt my feet. They were
only 1 3/4 inch heels but they were kitten heels and I
guess this was the problem. I said no to block heels
point blank but if I was getting married again I would
say Yes Yes Yes...
2. I also wish that someone had
told me that ordering the same colour of dress (flower
girl and Bridesmaid) from the same designer didn't
necessarily mean they would be the same colour. If doing
this then make sure both dresses are the same fabric as
well because it's very hard to get the colours exact
otherwise. Also order all the dresses together so that
they will come from the same run of material. It may be
hard to shell out for loads of dresses together but if
it matters they are the same colour, please take my
advice.
3. Keep checking with people to
make sure they are still available to do your wedding.
If there is more than one person involved in the company
then insist that he/she asks the other members involved
before giving you the Yes word. We had our band cancel 3
weeks before because the singer said yes but then (when
pressed to ask the others) they had booked
holidays.
4. When ordering your cars take
your height and size of dress into account. We ordered a
Beauford which is a brilliant car but we never thought
of what head room we would have when the soft top was
on. We never imagined it would rain in August but it
poured. I had to sit slightly sloped because the boning
in my dress meant I had to keep be abdominals straight.
It was still a gorgeous car though but make sure you can
sit comfortably especially if it's a long journey
5. It's really important to have
a plan B for photographs especially if your photographer
has an old style film run through camera. Films do get
stuck on the odd occasion and therefore it is always
good to make sure there is someone there with a good
quality digital camera (9mp or above) to take second
shots. Photographs are a really important part of your
day as these will act as memories and possibly hang on
the wall of your ancestors for years to come. This
didn't happen at my wedding but happened at a friends
and only for me and my camera she would have lost the
bulk of her shots. The photographer may not know it's
happened until it's too late as the film just keeps
tightening and tightening. My friends'wedding was a
couple of years ago and I didn't have as well as quality
camera as I have now. The result is 5mp photos that
can't be blown up very big.
6. Make sure you have a plan B
place for taking your photos. I asked a nursing home the
month before my wedding if I could take pictures in
their home. It had a long winding staircase and grand
piano, so it was nice. Indoor photos are a must if it's
pouring outside because otherwise you will be looking
wet and bedraggled and the photographers'kit will be
drenched. If you don't have a plan B then you run the
chance of taking photographs in a hotel situation with a
'toilet sign' stuck above your head or something lol
7. Do not go and book something
just because you think its the cheapest you may get. You
have to make sure that the person you book is genuine.
Speak with them. Ask to see their things. If they are a
new business and don't have a reputation yet, the
chances are that they will be trying to make an
impression but' just to make sure' tell them your
holding back a proportion of the money until after they
deliver what you're asking because you want to ensure
you get what you're asking and they don't have a proven
track record.
8. Do not let your hotel push
you around. These places make a mint from weddings and
an unhappy bride and groom who let others know is bad
for their business. Let them know this (in a good way)
just let them know that you have people who are looking
for feedback from you regarding their service.
9. Regarding shoes again. I paid
£
80 for my shoes and they came from the belle range. Do
not assume that spending more money will be kinder to
your feet. Of me and my 2 bridesmaids one had Katz and
her feet were sore, they cost £
40, the other had
Rainbows which cost £
45 and had a 5 inch heel and were
superb, not even a blister. Mine were the most expensive
and I was running around in bare feet by the end of the
night but when I tried on the Rainbow shoes I saw why my
BMs feet were fine. So much padding in the sole and
around the toes!! What I am saying is that you need to
try them on and walk around in them. Go somewhere that
does more than one size.
10. When buying lingerie ask the
advice of the person who is doing your alterations or
the shop you bought the dress from. You cannot have a
Basque under all dresses. Mine couldn't because of the
boning. 2 sets of boning would have been uncomfortable.
I only found this out after I bought the Basque.
11. When thinking about how to
entertain your guests while you are getting photos done
there are cheaper options. Use a couple of members from
the same band at the ceremony, record a CD of your
favourite songs for the hotel to play, or if you're sure
its going to be a good day why not purchase some cheap
lawn games. (We had giant connect 4, croquet, French
bowls and hop scotch on stand by in case it stopped
raining, sadly it didn't)
12. Make sure that everything is
kept in the same place. I got married from my parents
place and brought things there gradually. Unfortunately
I didn't heed my own advice where my tiara was concerned
and left it in the car thinking it would be there when I
went to get my hair done. Sadly it wasn't but thankfully
I had enough wired orchids to save the day and it looked
fine anyhow.
13. Don't let your bridesmaids
boss you around. If you seem like you have lost
direction in their eyes then they will automatically
take the wheel. These are your friends, so there is no
need to be a bridezilla but just make sure you get what
you want on your day. They will be sure to get what they
want on theirs.
14. Don't forget to enjoy
yourself in the planning stages. Don't make it into a
labourious task that just has to be done. I was stressed
to the eyeballs and now I can't believe I got so worked
up.
15. Treat yourself. Facials,
massages, manicures, pedicures. Make sure you look after
yourself and go somewhere where you can turn off your
mobile and relax. It's extremely important because you
don't want a nerve rash on your big day. But don't have
a facial on the month of your wedding as it will bring
the impurities to the surface and give you spots.
16. Don't ever buy bridesmaid
dresses or any other item from online shops based
outside the UK. You may end up paying large customs
charges and postage for this side of the water. They may
seem cheap but they won't be as cheap and the saving
really isn't worth the hassle.
17. Know what will suit. The wedding shop never thought
that the dress I picked would suit but on the day you
would never have guessed that there was a midriff the
size of the Himalayas hiding under there. lol Make sure
you're not too distracted by what looks good on the
models in the catalogues and you know the tips for
disguising anything you are self conscious about. Eg I
hate the top of my arms so I bought an organza bolero
type thing.
18. Flower girls are not always a good idea. I had 2 angels
and one that was very prone to tantrums. So choose the
flower girls carefully. The one that is prone to
tantrums doesn't live over here and so hadn't already
got a bond with me. That bond is so important because
little girls do things perfectly for their favourite
Auntie but play up for people who aren't that close
something shocking!
19. Choose your bridesmaids very
carefully. The nature of Bridal dresses is that it's
very hard to get to the toilet. So if you have a friend
who you're comfortable seeing your bum, she is
bridesmaid material, if not then she isn't bridesmaid
material. Simple as. We had a hoot going to the loo on
my wedding day. One bridesmaid holding the back and the
other the front. You can picture the scene
20. Getting an amateur to do your flowers can pay off. I
got an amateur to decorate the church and then a
freelance florist to do my bouquets. I made sure both
people liaised with each other. The church looked
brilliant and so did the bouquets. I'm not suggesting
that you use someone who doesn't know a rose from a
gladioli but if you keep your ear to the ground
(especially in church circles) there is usually a
talented local who does arranging at a fraction of the
cost. My guy is a floral art champion.
21. Make sure that you already have a bond with or that you
build a bond with the younger members of your bridal
party early on. The last couple of months are really too
hectic to be running around after a little miss prim who
may or may not put on her dress on the morning
22. Think carefully about having
attendants who have to get flights to come over for
fittings etc. If you ask someone who lives overseas then
make sure that they are told at the time that this means
they will have to take time off work to come over for
fittings and pay for their own flights. Otherwise you
may end up in the situation I was in. I wanted my flower
girl and mother to come over so she could be measured
and her dress altered. Mother said she would only pay
for one way flight and stay until wedding. I therefore
was entertaining guests the week before my wedding (as
if things aren't stressful enough). That being said, it
did help a bit with the bonding thing.
23. If you have a strapless dress and want straps. Consider
having them halter instead of ordinary. This usually
follows the line of the dress better and it doesn't then
look like they have been added. I did consider doing
this but then found my bolero thing and thought it would
look too busy with bolero and halter straps.
24. Give your photographer a list of photographs and make
him/her stick to it. My photographer is brilliant but
wasn't very happy when he had to shoot full family shots
inside. He asked if I wanted him to work miracles and I
assertively said 'No, I want you to look through a lens
and press a button and in my experience that isn't too
hard'. I showed him where he could take them and I will
now have photographs of people who may not be around in
years to come.
25. Get wedding Insurance as
early on as possible. I actually didn't and when my
niece died I wanted to postpone the wedding but I hadn't
Insurance and that meant I would have lost all my
deposits. I'm glad I didn't postpone it as well because
the wedding really helped my family through.
26. Never take it for granted that there will be other
opportunities to take family photos as you never know
how long you have people (no matter how young).
27. Decide and talk about what
you are doing about having kids. Are you having any? How
many are you wanting? When are you wanting them? And
decide on birth control. These are things that men need
to be cornered into talking about but my friend got
married and her husband started to get a complex about
her not conceiving. It actually turned out that there
had been a complete lack of communication and my friend
had got an implant in her arm for birth control. Her
husband didn't know, and she just assumed he wouldn't
want kids so early. Another situation, my cousin got
married to a woman who wanted kids and he didn't want
kids. Caused loads of rows! It's a burning issue that
can cause marriage break ups, so discuss it now!
28. Have a seating plan for the church/registry office
if
there is limited space. It never ceases to amaze me that
people spend an age on a seating plan for the meal but
don't bother their heads when they know room will be
tight in the church. Its not good enough counting how
many people can fit in. You have to bear in mind that
people will want to sit with their families so if a
family of 6 is late and there are 6 places left but not
together, then this is a problem. Our ushers had a
seating plan of sorts. We had all the family named and
after that we had counted how many parties of 2, 3, 4,
5, 6 etc there were and made a plan of the church with
each party of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, colour coded. That way it
didn't matter who they seated where, as long as everyone
fitted together like a perfect game of tetris and they
weren't split from their family. This saved time for us
as we had 207 guests on the day and it would have taken
ages for the ushers to go through the names otherwise.
29. Discuss what you see in your
future. If for instance you want to travel the world and
your fiance is a home bird then you may want to get this
out of your system before you marry or discuss the
option of going with a friend instead of him. Basically
anything that will affect your partner, emotionally,
financially or logistically needs to be discussed at
this stage.
30. Having a group photograph at
the church is a very good way to include even those who
have planned something in between. We couldn't do this
because of the size of crowd and because of the rain. So
bare in mind that this may be a photograph that you
won't get unless you have somewhere planned that has a
large enough staircase or slope in which to put the
whole of your guests. If there is no slope or staircase
then the photographer can get everyone in by taking it
from a height.
31. When you are receiving
presents please bear in mind that you will have to put
them somewhere. If you get something that is going to
replace an old version of the same thing offer the old
one to someone who is in need of that same item. This is
with exception to toasters and kettles because a spare
of these 2 items is always a very good idea as they
constantly break down.
32. If you are getting an
engagement photograph done before the wedding try to
wear a plain block of colour rather than a busy pattern.
This is especially if you are getting a black and white
one done. No. 1 The colours won't translate No 2 Fashion
moves on and rather than being embarrassed later it's
better to be wearing something that doesn't date No. 3
and this is the most important. The subject of the
photograph is supposed to be you and not your top! No 4.
Do not wear white as this will probably be the same as
the back drop used by the photographer and your head
will look like its floating in mid air.
33. Do not assume that big
stores are the best for your wedding list. They very
often run out of stock and make substitutions of items
and this will peeve off your guests.
34. Never assume anything. Definitely don't assume that
your man will know even the simplest of things. At the
wedding I was helping with and attending, the groom had
been asked by the bride to sort out the balloons. Now
the bride may have thought that this was one of the
simplest things that couldn't go wrong but the groom
asked us if we would help him blow up the balloons with
him. When I got there I found that the balloons had
"Just married" written on them. The problem with this is
that the Just married was written to suit the balloons
being blown up by helium. I alerted the groom to this
(thinking that he would realise his mistake and have a
laugh about it) but the poor man had no idea that
balloons didn't float without helium. I actually had to
demonstrate this by dropping the balloon to the floor.
So Girls, If you want something done by your nearest and
dearest just get them to talk you through their plan of
how they will make it happen and this will let you know
if its gonna drop like a blown up balloon or fly like a
helium balloon.
35. On the subject of balloons.
I checked with my hotel and they blew them up for me and
provided them free. If this isn't the case there is the
option of employing someone who definitely knows what
they are doing or going along to a shop and paying them
per balloon to fill them with helium or high flow. (Be
warned this does need to be booked in advance and
usually 24 hours in advance.
36. If you are going for the do
it yourself option then you need to be aware that helium
only lasts 10 hours and therefore your balloons will
need picked up on the day of the wedding by a
responsible individual. You can opt for high flow and
this will last approx 3 days and so can be installed the
night before but this will cost more than helium.
37. Don't assume that your best
man knows to get a guest book. I personally had to save
the day by purchasing one on the morning of another
wedding. It was extremely expensive compared to ours
(which was bought on eBay) so I would recommend
reminding your best man that it is his responsibility
and actually asking to see it before the day.
38. If buying a supermarket cake
and decorating it yourself I have a tip as my husband
used to be a baker. It is really important to cover your
cake boards because otherwise it will be obvious that it
hasn't been professionally decorated. Cover your
boards and the day shall be saved. All you need is some
ribbon that is the same depth as the board or slightly
deeper. You will need to mix an egg white with icing
sugar until it is able to stand on its own but still
capable of being pushed through a bag. Make sure it is
pretty firm. Put it in a zip and seal bag and snip off a
small bit of the corner (this is the cheapo
unprofessional way to make a piping bag), Then run it
around the edge of the board squeezing a line of icing
out. The ribbon should then stick easily to the board.
This is a good way to personalise the cake by matching
the ribbon to the bridesmaid colour.
39. This is one for you girls
that have bridesmaids that live in different parts of
the country. The Bride had 3 bridesmaids and a flower
girl. 2 lived in England and 1 bridesmaid and the flower
girl in Northern Ireland. The bride decided on 2
different colours and a style of dress and sent the
bridesmaids out to find them. She then said yay or nay
to what she saw. I thought this worked perfectly and
actually seemed to save a lot of stress.
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